


dropping words like quiet bombs

by PixieSweets



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Shirogane Naoto, Other, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and also kind of a rewrite of a naorise fic i wrote on 2017?, i originally wrote this at like uh 3 am as a vent fic, nb lesbian icon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17522234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixieSweets/pseuds/PixieSweets
Summary: Sometimes, Rise Kujikawa lets herself fantasize about the way she'll meet the person who adorns her arm with royal blue.Naoto Shirogane doesn't have time for that.





	dropping words like quiet bombs

Rise was a dreamer, that's what she'd been told since she was young.

Her birthday wishes were always childish and filled with impossible ideas. 'I wish my parents spent more time home' she'd think, blowing the candles that were the only source of light in the room. Her family would clap, congratulate her, but as the lights were turned on, she would once again be forgotten in favor of more important things. Even during her own birthday, the focus was still on someone else…but it was fine. After all, no one held any expectations for her or her future. She was just plain old Rise, who avoided reality by retreating into her mind instead of thinking about what she’d do when her parents got tired of dealing with her.

Her dreams were the same as her wishes; unrealistic, with a princely knight in shining armor that took her to the zoo and to the amusement park and all the other places her parents had told her they’d visit someday over a decade ago. The sky was pink with cotton candy-like clouds and the grass was a sparkling bright green, just as picturesque as a children’s picture book. Her prince's clothes were the same rich royal blue streak that adorned her left wrist and intertwined itself with a sparkling golden line as it climbed her arm towards her shoulder, culminating on a beautiful dual-colored butterfly right on the right side of her neck.

Whenever she woke up, she traced the lines with her fingers. Praying, hoping, wishing her savior would show up soon. (They didn’t.)

The shining spotlight wasn’t something that appealed her— but what came with it did. She wanted friends, attention; for someone to care about her. To be greeted whenever she passed people she knew in the street instead of awkwardly ignored and pushed to the side. Becoming an idol was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it would give her a chance to change. Wasn’t that what she desired the most?

Her debut was terrifying, but even as her vision was reduced by bright neon lights and her voice shook with anxiety and she could barely hear her own thoughts she felt happy. The crowd cheered for her, waving their pink light sticks and replying to her call and responses with vigor.

For the first time in her lifetime, she felt loved.

Meanwhile, Naoto's natural curiosity about mysteries led them to become a detective at a very young age; except their curiosity ended where Naoto Shirogane began. Teenagers began seeking answers to their existence, but Naoto distracted themselves with blood and disappearances. Whenever curiosity about the red and gold on their right arm peaked out from the closed box, they’d hid it in, they cut it the same way their grandfather did to their hair when they went from a 'she' to a 'he'. Quickly, messily, just like someone would do when cleaning their garden of weeds.

Becoming a renowned detective was surprising, but not unpleasant. They got to work more, to think of clever new ways to solve puzzles and problems, but they were too young and naive if they expected the work to only entail that. ‘You're a child, what are you doing getting on adult business?’ taller, stronger men would spit out whenever they got introduced to them. Naoto had to bite their lip and clench their fists to stop themselves from replying.

Childishness and foolishness weren’t allowed in a professional environment, so Naoto shot all of those feelings as soon as they were handed their first real, legal gun for police work. The police needed to keep people (including themselves) on a tight grip, after all. If they would work with them, they had to keep that in mind.

Like water and oil, their professions never brought the attention of the other. Even when they met, they didn't confront the burning sensation on their arms. Was it because of genuine obliviousness of what was going on, or because of their necessity to keep themselves on check and be the only ones in control? Maybe a mix of both?

As the investigation team grew closer, and aware that they'd have to confront it sooner or later, the glass of shattered dreams began to sink under the sea of hope.

Hope that maybe those shards weren't as sharp as they thought they were and that they could pick them up carefully and stick both of their dreams, piece by piece, together.

Sunlight shone over them as they met up in Rise’s home, melting under the summer heat.

"Rise-san." Naoto's uniform felt suffocating. They'd taken off their jacket, but formality and stubbornness stopped them from rolling up the sleeves of the dress shirt they were wearing.

"Hm?" Her eyes shone with understanding, but she herself didn't have any issue showing off her soulmate mark thanks to the short sleeves of her summer uniform. She didn't care about showing them off ever since she’d retired, probably because being an idol caused her to care too much.

"We should talk...inside, yes?" Rise led them to the inside of the Marukyu Tofu shop and invited them into her room, giggling all the while she muttered something about Naoto seeing what many longed to see.

"We're here! Oh, wanna grab a drink? I can go downstairs and get us some tea if you want." Rise twirled a hair around her finger once, twice, thrice, before Naoto's 'No, thank you.' made her plop onto her fluffy, pink mattress and bury her face on a cutesy giant teddy bear for a second before she looked over at Naoto, who preferred to sit on Rise's desk chair, behind her eyelashes.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I won't force you. We can act like we never realized about it if anyone happens to find out, I really don’t care.” The teddy bear covered most of her face, but Naoto didn't need facial expressions to know she was lying when her words and body language told them everything they wanted to know.

"If I wanted to talk about it, would you mind?"

"You seem to be losing a battle against yourself there, detective." Rise stared pointedly at Naoto's long sleeves, causing them to sigh and roll them up; first the left, then the right. "No, I don't mind. What's up?" She shuffled to a more comfortable position, looking directly at them.

"Facing myself made me...realize I could do this," They looked at their right arm, furrowing their eyebrows a bit as if trying to understand what such designs meant for the first time. They lifted a hand to touch them but stopped themselves. "maybe. I'm not sure, but… I’m willing to try."

Rise let go of the barrier that was the plushie and sat on her knees as she stared at Naoto closely. They knew she hated liars, and she knew they weren't prone to lying.

"I used to dream of you a lot when I was a kid, y'know." Instead of a concise reply, Rise spoke. She spoke about herself, about her dreamlike prince, about the gold and the royal blues. "Meeting you was scary and overwhelming, so much so that when I got home and began helping with dinner, I cut my finger while cutting carrots." The giggle she let out was neither happy nor sad, but the air of melancholy made Naoto hold their breath. "I hated you for a few days. I guess that says a lot about me, huh?"

Rise wasn't asking for a reply, so Naoto didn't provide her with one.

"I loved being an idol, and idols are meant to love their fans only...but then I lost my idol career, and I held onto the hope that I’d finally be able to love you to my fullest. Of course, that didn't happen and..." She stared at the floor, brushed a hair behind her ear and continued, "well, now I guess it did."

Naoto took off their hat and clutched it tightly between their fingers. "Sorry for that." They murmured and ran a hand between their hair. "I spent too much time running away from others, and it's kind of...scary to meet someone you can't run away from."

Rise laughed warmly, because that was exactly what she felt when she threw away the mask of Risette.

"It is! But...Naoto-kun, you realize we can take it slowly, right?"

"I understood that now."

They didn't move for a few minutes as a comfortable silence enveloped the room. They'd gone from two chess players carefully examining their movements, back two those kids who believed everything was possible and that love was simple and warm.

They hugged each other for the first time that night. 

**Author's Note:**

> aaa sorry if it was really messy, but i wanted to focus more on the characters themselves and their struggles which led to them being unable to accept one another initially than on the au itself...  
> idk if it worked but! i hope it did!  
> thank you for reading;;!!


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